The Flagstaff Times
July 24th 2001

The Route 66 Killers were formed back in the year 2000, when four Russian serial killers met in a smoky ramshackle bar in the small mountain town of Flagstaff, Arizona, just off of Route 66. Having escaped a Russian prison in Siberia, they fled for the United States. All share common interests: murder, voodoo, and surfing. Soon they went on to terrorize the inhabitants of Flagstaff with a series of grizzly murders and zombie-style surf tunes. The local law enforcement has been powerless in the apprehension of the gruesome four, who continue to leave nothing but corpses and mayhem.

The Route 66 Killers consists of the scum of the earth: thereÂ's Sergei, the ring leader of the gang. Sergei was a hit man for the Russian mafia, and carried out 42 hits in Moscow before his eventual incarceration. His weapon of choice is the lead guitar. Boris, hailing from St. Petersburg, was known as the "Nozhe" or "The Knife" in his home town, adding 20 people to his list of victims before he was apprehended. His weapon of choice is the bass. Ivan or Ivan Gryohznii (Ivan the Terrible) comes from the small village of Niledovo north of Moscow, where his massacre of the entire village caught the attention of the world. His weapon of choice is the rhythm guitar. And then there is the Animal or Zhivotnoye. Not much is know of his origins. Coming from some remote area in Siberia, the Animal brutally killed 19 people with his bare hands in a two year spree. His weapon of choice is the drums.

The music of the Route 66 Killers is dark instrumental surf. When listened to long enough, the listener/victim slowly and painfully dies. However, there have been reports of the deceased coming back from the dead and craving human flesh.
It is assumed that this marauding gang of murderers currently resides in Flagstaff Arizona, the focal point of an ongoing manhunt since their arrival here. If you have any information leading to the arrest of these madmen, please lock your doors and contact the local authorities at once.

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